good and bad

good

pakistan playing in england;
WI beating India.

bad

vaughn's retirement;
england cricket team being all twatish and visiting war graves. all a bit too australain - they should have gone paintballing or to the sportsman on a sunday afternoon.

Look who's back (not Dr Dre)

Right:

One or both of Andy Flower and Otis Gibson is a genius.

Broad, Anderson and Sidebottom are all of a sudden much better than they were...

Also, is Onions in ridiculous form, is a bit lucky (and we need that seeing as Broad, Flintoff and Anderson are relatively unlucky) or, actually, really quite good?

Well done on the selection either way.

Did you by any chance see the comments on Flower on cricinfo. Sounds like the guy for us.

http://www.cricinfo.com/england/content/story/399553.html

Sorry if I've missed the bus (as Bumble might say) on this debate. I've got to catch up...

chimps writing shakespeare

When I was sent this photo by my dad of me batting in the staff/student cricket match i was reminded of the story about chimps writing Shakespeare....

Chairman of selectors (A. Jarman) speaks.

Cook
Strauss (c)
Bopara
Pietersen
Collingwood
Prior (wkt.)
Flintoff
Broad
Swann
Anderson
Onions/Panesar

This twelve will win the Ashes. That is all.

Ashes squad

So, its been decided:

Andrew Strauss (capt): good
James Anderson: good
Ian Bell: d'oh. but i guess his performances of late warrant getting in the squad. at least its not shah.
Ravi Bopara: good
Tim Bresnan: um, i guess ok
Stuart Broad: good, not a jibber
Paul Collingwood: still average...
Alastair Cook: good, but clarke the bowler will get him out every time
Andrew Flintoff: good, and about time he performed
Graham Onions: good, but too much like anderson
Monty Panesar: i still love monty, but other selections are better
Kevin Pietersen: good
Matt Prior: good, would probably play as a batter if necessary
Adil Rashid: good, but isn't he small
Ryan Sidebottom: not a jibber, but is he still any good (probably)
Graeme Swann: good, but a bit of a dick (see recent interview in wisden)

younger members of fetch

alex, please give me due warning before you bestow official membership of 'fetch!' on joseph. (do we have a cap to award him?) i will, at this point, tone down my language. (code word for aussie cricketers will become 'punts'. this is a good code word for two reasosn: one, it is not a sware word; and two, its derivitive of 'ponting', who is known as 'punter', and who is, in case you didn't know, the biggest cunt of them all.)

i think i've got time with the other two future bloggers, who will in due course join our team - luke and eskel. (i'm presuming that astrid, being a girl and all that, is not permitted to join?).

one last cricketing point - the glos are very good at the moment. which is nice.

kris, is it true that the low anthem are quite good? band of heathens are good - they are exactly like little feet.

From cricket info:

'Harmison and Onions complemented each other perfectly in this match. Between them they claimed 13 for 230 in this game, with Harmison using his height to extract bounce, and Onions bowling fuller and straighter. Onions appeared slightly the quicker.' (my emphasis.)

interesting. i think they'll got for sidebottom anyway.

just in case anyone thought i was going to mature in my 'fetch!' blogging: have you seen what that cunt warne is? - rekoning bopra is a jibber! (he might be, but warne can still fuck off.) heyden also said katch and that other fuckwit of an opener are going to struggle with reverse. this takes heyden down to 9.99 on the official icc-bc international cunt ratings (out of 5). right, that puerile enough for you?

Classic 20/20 victory!

YMCA u13's beat Knowle u13's by 10 runs.

An imposing total of 103 was always going to be a stiff challenge for the south Bristol team, but despite a brave rearguard, accurate bowling and some amazing catching saw YMCA home. Joseph Jarman was a surprise choice as opener- less surprising was his exit for a four ball duck, although not before he played a forward defensive that was every bit as aesthetically pleasing as Vaughny's cover drive.
He finally tasted bowling success with his first competitive wicket during a tight two-over spell which brought him figures of 1 for 6. Taking advantage of a low, slow wicket, he got one to not bounce at all, and the accurate line payed off. Suffice it to say that the bowler was not as ridiculously as excited as his father.

Come on

you wankers! England win. Australia out. Mendis bamboozlement. Sanga coolness. What's going on. Where are you? Well, I know where most of you are, but you need to sort your priorities out.

Alone in the world

Alone in the world I'm quite excited by the 20/20 world cup thingy. A pity the weather has gone pear shaped (i.e. hot) otherwise we might have stood a chance by exploiting english conditions. Come on england!