Aus v SA

I was just gearing up for the 4th test, when I noticed that SA v Aus tests - which should surely tell us which of this lot are complete twats as well as world champions - start tomorrow.

Central issues:

1. Phil Hughes - Mark Lathwell or yawn 'the next bradman'? Probably someway between the 'r' of 'or' and the 'y' of yawn.

2. Australia's attack: siddle, bollinger, hilfelhaus, johnson. With 'bryce mcgain' as the 'spinner'?

3. Whether Duminy is great or really great?

4. How many toys ponting will throw out the pram when he realises the worst about 1 and 2?

5. Whether - please - some of the new players will reveal themselves as total toss pots when the pressure is on?

Thoughts of Chairman Lucy

The well known cricket writer Lucy Jarman is incensed at Matthew Prior's return to see his newborn, on the grounds that not only has he already missed the birth and is also being paid a lot of money, but also because, as an international cricketer, he should have had a quick glance at the future tours programme when planning to have a baby.  As is often the case, I agree with what(ever) she says.  Also, it does leave our team looking suspiciously shit.  Any thoughts- we're most of us fathers or fathers to (VERY soon) be?

Also, welcome back Pakistan, and well done Younis!

An antidote to stress. At the risk of...

increasing non cricket-related fetch traffic, I urge and beg you to go to youtube now (can't do link, sorry. Link-monkey!) and type in 'yacht rock episode 1'. The real story behind the classic song. So many highlights, but check out particularly john Oates and Denny Diaz.

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Edit by Link Monkey - done...

names

As an expectant father, this, from the WI pres XI, may have given me some inspiration:

"Opening the bowling was a man who, to judge from his name, must have carried an immense burden of expectation since birth: Barrington Bjorn Beckenbauer Yearwood."

state of play

well, at least it sounded like a good test match.

I am cheery though, because a tall silent dude who menaces my classes with his solemn seriousness turns out to share my hatred of the BCCI (i haven't asked if this is why he is so serious). but he is from pakistan, so i guess he has to. we're going to the nets tomorrow to re-create some of the great wasim v. atherton match ups.

i've tried all week to come up with a limerick about bell. but i can only get as far as: 'there was a crap cricketer called bell... end'. he he.

St Johns Rec

Yesterday 1pm: discussing the slow and inevitable demise of test cricket with Pets

Yesterday 10pm: faith restored. Not only because of Strauss's sublime century, but because of the surroundings the feat was performed in: clearly dangerous stands; 8000 England supporters burning to death; giant reefers being prepared and smoked; and the WI trying to land the ball on the half-way line of the football pitch which lay just short of a length.

Can you imagine how you would have felt if you'd spent 3 grand for the privilege of watching the second test and then you get to watch the last test match at St Johns...

Fantastic.

not acceptable

Can you believe this....

do you reckon the BCCI are behind it in an attempt to wreak the beautiful game?

brett lee - 'I love you'

Binsy found this.

is this merely 'un-broad-like' (i.e. twat-ish) or much worse?

http://www.brett-lee.net/fans/poems.shtml

Once we have poems about waxing lyrical about KP, I will then give up supporting England. I'd be quite happy with a limerick or sea-shanty on Steve Harmison though.

I know it's pathetic but..

when this sort of thing happens it leaves me feeling genuinely low. When Lucy asks why I'm in such a bad mood, I have to lie, because the truth is too embarrassing. We invest such a lot of time thinking, writing, talking, dreaming and hoping about this fucking game and this fucking side, that this sort of thing feels like a bereavement. Please help. What can I do? I want to support another team (not too good, but better- Sri Lanka) or maybe there's another sport. I'm in crisis and I need help.

Nothing to do with cricket...

...which, in one sense, in a blessed relief I think.

Get over to http://daytrotter.com/article/1575/ron-sexsmith and download the free tracks there.  Frickin' ace.

Still chubby, still resolutely bereft of styling.

sorry to mention the league of evil, but...

Andrew Flintoff to Chennai Super Kings 1.55 million;
Kevin Pietersen to Bangalore Royal Challengers 1.55 million;
Ravi Bopara to Kings XI Punjab 450,000;
Owais Shah to Delhi Daredevils 275,000;
Paul Collingwood to Delhi 275,000;
Stuart Clark, Brad Haddin unsold.

two things: one, surely this proves that clark and haddin are dicks.
and two, who the fuck would want collingwood?
actually, three things:
three, why are we really, really shit at ODIs?

ian bell

cunty bell has failed again.

He needs shooting.

I am pleased today.

not only do the aussies continue to loose, but i also have a new target of hatred - haddin. i always suspected he was a wanker. but after watching the match yesterday, i now have the proof.

Ponting spoke before he had seen a replay but challenged Vettori to be sure of his Haddin criticism:

"It's a bit much, he's basically claiming [Haddin's] a cheat, isn't he? That's a bit strong unless they're 100% certain... We'll wait and see. If [a replay] does show anything that Brad is in the clear, I'll certainly be letting Daniel know about it. It's probably worth Haddin having a chat to him as well. He's basically had a bit of a crack at Haddin's make-up."

so, the replay does show that haddin knocked the bails off. And in conclusion, then, haddin is a cheat, and i hope that both ponting and brad will be speaking to vitori acknowledging the fact.

also, what kind of tosser puts on 'make-up' to keep wicket. poofs, that's who.

i think that whenever the aussies loose their grip on the game, they start to accuse others of cheating/bringing the game into disrepute. witness the 2005 ashes.