return

I have now returned to you all and pleased to see that this blog has got even more purile. Well done boys.

However, you seem to have failed to comment on how good Stuart Broad seems to be becoming? Pushing past 90mph and exceptionally intelligent with the ball in hand and reminds Boycott of Sobers with the bat. I love him.

I now also love James Anderson. I never thought that I would say that.

the evil

is it just me, or is this 20-20 thing getting out of hand? apparently someone wants another cup or league or tournament or what the fuck ever. i don't know who's playing what, where, and what for, at the moment. and it seems that most players have also got over their burnout now. am i going to have to find another sport that no one plays nor cares about? it strikes me that cricket is going the way of the football league - and that's all about money. i'm thinking of becoming obsessed with badminton next - i just need to find out who is England's arch nemesis (or nemesi?), so that i can properly direct my foul vitriol.

ratings of the ashes squad

I notice that they've announced the Australian ashes squad. I've been doing some analysis on what we can expect - form, averages, age etc. and i've come up with a 'cunt rating' for all of them. Below are the results:

R Ponting (c), M Clarke (vc), S Clark, B Haddin, N Hauritz, B Hilfenhaus, P Hughes, M Hussey, M Johnson, S Katich, B Lee, G Manou, A McDonald, M North, P Siddle, S Watson. All cunts.

Lewis smuggled '3kg of cocaine' in fruit cans

mmmmmmm, cocaine flavored orange segments in natural juice.

The Glos.

Zeroes to heroes.  Huh? 

Time to think.

While the birth of L.W.B. Capps is of course a wonderful and joyous event, it does leave us with a problem.  Broadly speaking, one quarter of Fetch WILL NOT BE ABLE TO THINK ABOUT CRICKET for a little while.  Accordingly, I suggest that the remaining 3/4 implement a direct 33% (? not sure about the maths) increase in time spent thinking about cricket.

To this end, I have already watched the two hour highlights package of the first test 3 times over the weekend, which is additional to the time spent trawling the internet for a new bat for Joseph WHEN HE DOESN'T REALLY NEED ONE!

I'm doing my bit- what will you do?  Don't worry, your other halves will understand.

Assessment

dickhead

I was also pleased to see Hughes get 5 in a total of 65. cunt.

Strauss is not a jibber:

1513 runs in 17 Tests at 54.03, a tally which included seven centuries, two of which came in a single Test against India (not jibber bowling) at Chennai in December (and after the recent terrorist attack).